(Please read this article before reading this post, or you won't get what I'm talking about.)

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Open Letter To The Kind Pious Soul Living In District 10

...Hello.

I write this letter to thank you for your kind intentions in praying for us poor HDB-dwellers, that God may give us the strength to overcome the indignities of having to live in HDB flats and take public transport.

Of course, we would all gladly trade our lives for yours. This is beyond question. After all, we have to suffer such sulfurous trials as:

1. Being able to call HDB when our floor tiles pop out or our pipes leak, and having them fix practically anything that goes wrong immediately - for free.
2. Not having to hire two maids - one to take care of the family, and the other to clean the house, because our flats are so tiny that most of us can clean them ourselves.
3. Not needing to walk along dark, dingy lanes when going home in the middle of the night, because our estates are amazingly well lit all throughout the night.
4. Having people paint the outer facade of our blocks once every five years so they'll look new.
5. For students, getting twice as much PSEA money every year - just for living in a HDB flat! How awesome is that!
6. Being able to sleep on the MRT while you car drivers fret about road conditions and parking lots. (If you're really rich, you might have a chauffeur to do the worrying for you. Now how much do you have to pay the guy?)
7. Not having to pay road tax, ERP or parking fees. Of course we have to pay bus/train fares, but it's nothing compared to your expenses. Nyeh nyeh nyeh.

We are such sad people, yes? So do continue praying for us, because we need all the strength we can get to last out these terrible trials in life.

Though if you REALLY feel sorry for us and want to help, just drop me an email and ask for my address. I'll give it to you, and you can mail me your blank chequebook. Thanks in advance (:

Love,
Crystal

(P.S. I just checked MY street directory, and damn, you don't have a single NTUC Fairprice in your area! Of all the supermarket chains in Singapore, NTUC sells the most value-for-money groceries - and not a single branch to be seen?! Man, I think I'd better pray for you (or your haute cuisine-stocked fridge) instead.)