Okay, so people are forever asking me why I'm always smiling. And I guess they think I'm a happy person since I appear to have an everlasting grin on my face.

WELL, IF YOU'RE ONE OF THEM, YOU THOUGHT WRONG.

Actually, most of the time I'm not smiling. Neither is the crocodile in the stream below you, so don't pat it. I just happen to have chubby cheeks and a fairly round face (it was supposed to be square, but it got padded with my facial fat), so stop asking me about it! Sheesh.

So anyway, to prove that I'm not a nice cheerful person, I shall compile a list of all the things I hate about the world right here.

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LIST OF ALL THE THINGS I HATE, FROM THE FRIVOLOUS TO THE DEADLY SERIOUS:

1. Slow-walking morbidly obese people on pavements

As this one's potentially offensive, I shall ward off as many of my to-be detractors as possible by saying now that I don't hate you if you're one of these:

- Fat, but not so fat that I can't squeeze past you at all or ask you to keep to one side so that others can overtake you
- Skinny, but like to walk in the middle of the pavement. I don't mind these people, because I can either squeeze past or shove them to the side (since they're probably light enough for me to do that)
- Morbidly obese, but a fast walker. At least you're 1. trying to do something about your vastness and 2. at least as fast as me, so I don't have to overtake you on the pavement

Right so that's done. Now where was I?

Oh yeah, slow-walking fat people.

Now, as people who know me will know, I like to walk fast. My normal pace is apparently a normal person's kancheong speed. So when I'm walking in a passageway and there's a fat slow person in front of me, I get really annoyed.

(I'm not saying that I'm lightweight myself, but at least I don't take up the ENTIRE PAVEMENT when I walk. That's all I'm saying. Besides, I usually walk fast enough that very few people are inclined to overtake me unless they're late for something.)

'Cause they can't keep to the side (there IS no side for them to keep to when they take up the entire pavement already), and it's rude (but tempting) to holler at them to walk faster. And as Rachel was telling me, if you try to shove them from the back you'll get a whiff of BO. Not very pleasant -.-

So if you're a slow-walking morbidly obese pavement-blocking person, I shall now very meanly suggest that you walk faster, especially along narrow pathways, to avoid pissing off other people who like brisk walking to their destinations/are late for work or school. Besides, if you don't exercise now, you'll soon lose the use of your legs and will have to scoot around on motorized scooters like some fat Americans are doing now.

(Not that I'd mind, though. At least I can make you rev up your scooter to go faster. :D)

2. Smokers

I accidentally got stuck behind a smoker on my way to the bus stop this morning. It was HORRIBLE, I tell you. The guy left a trail of foul air all the way from the mall to the bus stop, and I couldn't overtake him because it was raining and I was wearing my slippers-with-heels, which I can't run in during rainy days without falling.

Okay I originally came up with a plan to stuff all smokers into a smelly crowded room with a bunch of chronic farters, but Vic's idea works better. Scroll down and read about her brilliant invention.



2. People who keep giving excuses for, well, everything

Oh boy I hate it when people do that. Like the other day, when my parents were trying to convince me that I should study hard and do well in school blah blah blah because "I have a better environment to study in than they did".

My mum said: "Look at me! I had to help out in my parents' shop after school and on weekends. I had to study in front of the toilet because I didn't have a proper study table. So OF COURSE I couldn't have done as well as I should have, because I was disadvantaged!"

My dad said: "Well, I didn't even have money to buy food! Everyday we'd eat rice fried with lard, or tofu and soy sauce. I'd hide in the Room everyday during recess because I didn't have enough money to buy food to eat T.T"

So then I pointed out that my dad could always tell my mum that AT LEAST she had food to eat and a roof over her head, so why did he get into the science stream while she only managed Arts?

Please la, everyone has their own difficulties. I remember in P5 I actually managed to bottom the entire level in Math, and my teacher was more concerned about covering her own backside by emailing my parents to tell them to be mentally prepared for me to fail the midyear too than teaching us Math-losers how to do Math properly.

Well, I could've sat there and whined about how none of my parents could teach me how to do Math and I was struggling with the subject alone, but that'd have been truly loserish. Instead (and I do acknowledge that I'm lucky to have parents who can pay for it), I went for tuition. But since normal tuition couldn't help GEPers much, I went for GEP group tuition. At that time I think only Just Education had that sort of class, so off to Just Ed I went.

But yay another problem cropped up! Only the Bukit Gombak branch had GEP math tuition classes, and it was damn far from my house. And my parents didn't (and still don't) own a car. So how?

Bohpian lor. My class lasted for 2 hours (10am to 12pm, I think), but I had to spend 1 1/2 hours every single week just travelling to the place. It was another 1 1/2 hours back, too. Quite awful when everyone else gets driven to (and back from) the centre by their parents, but as I said earlier, it could've been worse - some kids' parents don't even have the money to send them for tuition. What about them, then?

Seriously, it's not about what life throws at you - it's how you deal with it that matters.


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Oh yes, I was going to talk about my abhorrence for dating in JC.

I don't understand why people want to purposely go find boyfriends/girlfriends within the first 3 months of JC. I mean, if you just happen to pick one up along the way and you really like the person then fine, but looking for one is just DESPO.

...Actually, that was all I was going to say. Lol.