Ohmygosh I am convinced that Denise should join RALA. She is WAAAY awesome. If you can't beat the crowd, join them!

AN ELEGY ( LAUGHS)

I have been keeping this to myself for an inordinate amount of time.


I have bottled these thoughts ----up to the point where silence is not an option.


I cannot keep silent; this gross injustice must be addressed.




(* adjusts fringe to dangle over eyes and thereby obscure everything in view; turns mouth downwards for better emo effect.)





I CANNOT STAND THIS.

I CANNOT STAND THIS ANY LONGER.




I REFUSE, DIFFUSE, ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO KEEP SILENT ANY LONGER.

There is too much at stake. My sanity for one.




Here goes.

Don't kill me for this.

I'm putting myself on the stake here people ! I'm doing this for the greater good!





And that is:





WHY WON'T THE RALA PEOPLE SHUT UP ABOUT THE GREATNESS OF DR SAKHAR FOR ABOUT FIVE MINUTES??







If they manage to do that, I'll stop crying and give them a sweet.
No, wait. I'll not just give them a sweet; I'll throw them a bloody PICNIC.




It's like Discovery Channel Special Edition whenever the Rala people troop back into class.


And what's worse, they troop back in trickles, so I get to hear about the greatness of Dr Sakhar in drips and drabs, culminating in a rather repetitive effect.




Hannah: Denise ! Do you know that Dr Sakhar has DOUBLE DIGIT, DOUBLE DIGIT –DOUBLE DIGIT--assurance! He can speak seven languages !

Denise: OOOH.

( five minutes later )

Xinyuan: DENISE ! DR SAKHAR CAN SPEAK TEN LANGUAGES ! Tamil, German, some Indian dialect, French, Chinese, Japanese, Cantonese and Tutsi!

Denise: oooh.


( five minutes later )


Vic and Crystal : HEY DENISE ! DR SAKHAR HAS DOUBLE DIGIT ASSURANCE! HE CAN SPEAK TWENTY MILLION LANGUAGES!
Denise: oh.


( five minutes later )

Yvonne: DENISE ! DO YOU KNOW, DO YOU KNOW—
Denise: Yes I kno--
Yvonne: DR SAKHAR CAN SPEAK FIFTY THOUSAND LANGUAGES! ISNT HE INCREDIBLE ! He's the best teacher we've ever had! Can you imagine! DOUBLE DIGIT ASSURANCE!
Denise: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Yvonne: DOUBLE DIGIT ASSURANCE ! DR SAKHAR! DOUBLE DIGIT ASSURANCE!
Denise: *cries self to sleep*

( x 100 )



And whats even more frightening is that them Rala people have this awestruck, passion-filled, fiery expression whenever The Dr Sakhar is mentioned.

It's quite scary. One has just got to be content with sitting there and nodding meekly to their adoration filled rants in the fear of being bashed up by ralaies..





AND THEY ARE ALL DEAF.


Rala people are purportedly expert at reading and writing skills.

Since they fail so much at the hearing aspect, I shall type this for them to reread, analyse, and tut tut over.


I hope I get my point across this time:

Hear ye, rala people:



HEARD YOU!!! I HEARD YOU!!!! DON'T REPEAT THIS OVER AND OVER TO ME LIKE CUCKOO OR I'LL GO CUCKOO TOO . I HEARD YOU!!! I HEARD YOU!!!

I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME, I HEARD YOU THE SECOND TIME, AND I MOST DEFINITELY HEARD YOU THE THIRY-SEVENTH TIME. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!??!!?!?!?!?!

Goodness.



All this D0-you-know-dr-sakhar-what what what sentence structures are driving me crazy.


Rala people seem to take great pride in shocking the living guts out of innocent passerbys with juicy bits of Dr Sakhar's history.

I tell you, one day I might just, in a fit of frustration, run down and call the famed Dr Sakhar and just ask him for his autobiography .




* Hypothetical situation*

Xinyuan: DENISE! Do you know Dr Sakhar graduated with a PhD from Princeton?

Denise: ( smug look) Yes Xinyuan, calm down. Do you know that Dr Sakhar specializes in fungal growth?

Xinyuan: ( shocked look ) HOWDDYAA KNOW! AHH! I must go forth and tell all
other RALA people to spread the news but avoid repeating it to you because you already know this terrifically juicy piece of news !

Denise: * Enters happy place *




Or even better, we could host Who-has-the-more-magnificent-RA-teacher competitions.




* Hypothetical situation*

Hannah: DENISE!!! Do you know that Dr Sakhar is an expert at fungal growth??? He specializes in the life cycle of enoki mushrooms!

Denise: BIG DEAL ! Do you know that Mr Lim has discovered that the apical membrane of a polarized cell is the part of the plasma membrane that forms itslumenal surface,distinct from the basolateral membrane, and that this is particularly evident in epithelial and endothelial cells, but also describes other polarized cells, such as neurons ??? AHHH!!! AHHH!!!

Hannah: Oh….* sad despondent look* Oh…

Denise:* Enters happy place*



One day.

Unfortunately for Denise, Hannah happily copypasted her post and forwarded it to the RALA yahoogroups, of which Dr Sakhar himself is a member. Well, I suppose he'll be flattered (: